There are five stages of grief, or so they say. When they begin and when they end nobody really knows. Sounds like a line from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" not the cute one the creepy one.
I will begin by giving you the signs of grieving: Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining and Acceptance.
It would all be very nice if they could all just follow a particular order...but they don't. I recently lost a very dear friend, a Mom figure. So the pain should have been enormous. But I was cool and collected. Then the coolness turned into anger. I couldn't even hold my cup of coffee without wanting to throw it accross the room. I mean really, how crazy is that?
Bargaining was fun. As I am driving and some jerk cuts me off -- Hey, Big Guy, why is this jerk still driving around when the good are dying? To the store clerk who can't stand her job...I knew someone who would love to have stood where you are now!! Now that's a Bargain!! Ok so bitter party of One!!
Then the calls asking if I was ok. Of course, I am ok I'm not the one who died!! Sounds a little cliche. I moved on to denial. It's kind of creepy being here because I find myself listening to old messages and reading old texts. Trying to remember if there was anything I missed.
I just want to share this part of myself so that you know that this crap is real and you need to be aware of where you are in the Grief wheel. And to remind you not to stay too long in one place. Move on and get through or get help.
Today I am feeling better. I let people back into my life. I had a good cry and I let people know where I was and how I was feeling on this path. I let them know so they would know when to reach out or when to pull me out.
Losing someone is painful, letting go gives you a sense of peace. Trust me, it's better to let go of death then to let go of the loved ones who are living. Take a deep breath now and Release...
Please Check out my Podcast on Grieving.